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On the National Lottery

Article 14.08.2017 09:15

One of my rants about charities and lotteries and the general foolishness of the British!

Once upon a time, long ago and far away in a galaxy at the rim of the universe there was a celestial body called the lottery commission. It was a strange planet, divorced entirely from any other reality, but it had the important task of distributing hand-outs throughout the artistic and needy sections of our galaxy for the benefit of all.

Unfortunately for the LC's credibility, it seemed to give money to those who didn't really need it and not give it to those that did. It was a sort of Robin Hood in reverse.

Bands that weren't benefiting their communities by producing young bands were getting shedfulls of money thrown at them and bands that had spawned two or more offspring were ignored, though their needs were often great. Bands that already owned their own bandrooms were given money to improve them, but bands that needed cash to buy their own premises to store instruments and make even more baby bands possible couldn't get a bean.

And so it went on.. Eventually, those bands who couldn't get any cash or beans from the LC gave up believing in it and sought money elsewhere. Many of these got promotion in the band world and made success out of their hardship. Several of the bands who got beans or cash left a nasty smell behind when they folded and the nice shiny-new instruments were left gathering dust in an empty (but shiny-new)  bandroom cupboard with no-one to play them.

Oh how the makers of instruments and the sellers of bandrooms and the architects laughed. After all, they were the ones who had all the money!

As a final thought. Ask any mathematician and they will tell you that the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at mathematics.

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